← THE ARCADE  /  JASON SANDS  /  THE TRITIUM SHORTAGE

The Jason Sands Experience • Cabinet No. 2

The Tritium
Shortage

He described a pale, ear-less gentleman in an immaculate uniform who arrived on a Nevada range and asked — politely, without opening his mouth — where a person might find tritium. We believe him completely. Our objection is procedural: the man was sent away with nothing.

RANGE ROAD • 04:12 • HE IS STILL STANDING THERE
Rapport30 / 100
Patience — he is on a schedule100
Exchange 1 / 8

 

He does not blink. It is not rudeness.

Incoming transmission

 

 

Your pantry — offer one item

He Is At The Window.

No engine. No footsteps — the gravel simply agrees to have been stepped on. The uniform is pressed. The uniform is immaculate, out here, at four in the morning, in a state made almost entirely of dust.

He wants tritium. You do not have tritium. You have a pantry, a thermos, and the one thing nobody in the history of this field has ever thought to try.

WING DOCTRINE: We do not question the encounter. We question the reception. A visitor crossed an unknowable distance, sustained damage, located the only lit window for forty miles, and asked one American for help — and that American, through no fault of his own, had received no training whatsoever in having someone over. This cabinet is remedial.